As the days in this pandemic pass, the time slowly passes and more people are infected and the more exposed we are. It’s so weird to say “in this pandemic” because I (we) should have never been in something like this. I was one of those that said “it’s like the flu and this will all blow over. More people die of the flu so get vaccinated for the flu”. And look at us now…people are dying, healthcare workers don’t have the PPE we need, HEB is out of TP, public gatherings and schools are cancelled. So much for it being like the flu! Okay COVID I respect you, I will get vaccinated when “they” discover the vaccine!! Now, please go away!!
I have so many questions.
How did we get here? How was this not seen? We live in the United States and it’s happening..so why can’t I get the equipment I need to do my job? I’m I the naive one in this situation? We have researchers surveilling influenza/viruses/bacteria, how did this one get by?
This virus has changed all of us. In our house…life has changed. I work in the ER as a NP and my husband works as a RN in ICU. We have three boys that live at home with us. The hugs and kisses to our children are very limited these days and the “don’t touch me” as soon as we walk through the door from work is the normal yell these days. I am just wondering what our kids are thinking.
My husband comes home after being with COVID patients for 12 hours and all I can think is when will he get us all sick? I worry more for him than I do for myself. I am literally in the room with a PUI for less then 5 minutes fully gowned with my reused PPE and then my nurse has to spend the rest of the time in the room obtaining swabs and labs and exposing themselves for a stranger they don’t even know. Y’all are amazing humans and the only humans I like to hang out with.
My husband and I have already spoken about what will happen if one of us gets “it” and goes into respiratory failure, how long we want to be intubated (if we even want to be) and when to call it quits. We have spoken about what to do next if one of us dies. Too crazy to even think about it however when you start talking about it and writing this stuff out, even more crazier.
Enough about me. Where in the hell is this PPE, where’s JCAHO? OSHA? Why aren’t they over here shouting that this is not standard of care? Just last year, I couldn’t wear that N95 out of a TB patient’s room and we have cure for TB but now you want me to wear the same N95 mask for weeks on COVID patients that are highly contagious with no cure with high mortality rates. Help me understand??
This is just a intro into my thoughts and life right now. I will post more about my days with COVID soon.
